Recently I was involved in coaching a teenage girl who was in a relationship for about a year, the relationship ended and the life as she knew it stopped. This was her first relationship, and she truly loved this boy. Over the year I felt compelled to coach, guide, and nurture this young lady. I am going to speak as a mother for a moment, what really stood out to me is what happened to this young girl after the relationship ended. It was like she couldn't go on, she was stuck, physically, emotionally, she lost interest and could not focus.
She was in a place of sadness, she was feeling stuck with her emotions, and as a coach it is my job to have her work through the process. Is coaching always pretty no it's not, it's real, and it can be raw, and this particular session was raw. There are times where you have to work through what is holding you back, see what's there, you have to feel it, and be with it. When I am coaching my clients, I take them where they are, and sometimes they get mad, sometimes they wanna stop, and sometimes they cry it out, and that's okay.
The homework I gave my client was to write a letter to her ex-boyfriend for closure, she didn't have to send it, but I felt it would help her move on. She decided to not only write the letter, but to send it. Once she sent it, she felt a weight lifted off her shoulders, she felt free, and she kept saying over and over again, I feel free. Because I have a daughter the same age, and as a mother I was so happy for this young girl. To see her carrying all that burden was hard, but she worked it out, and was proud of herself for the decision to send the letter.
When coaching through a particular situation I will listen for emotions and name it, then I will explore what is there, and the client will experience it good bad, or indifferent. I will check in, to see where the client is, and what they are feeling, I will take the client where they want to go, and I will take the client where they may not want to go. In order for you to get passed certain things in life you have to process it to move on. You will fill the shift, and movement starts to happen. A client maybe feeling a certain way, but we will continue to process until movement happens.
Once my client allowed herself to feel the emotions, and be with it, she started to understand why this was so important. This was controlling her life for over a year, and stopping her from doing everything she was doing before the relationship. She still has her days, but I am confident over time she will be able to move on completely, she has come so far, and I cherish the relationship that we have. She is in a great place now, and we continue to check in with each other, I love being a source of support for her.
I am writing as a Teen Coach, and as a mother, if you feel your children are struggling to focus, feeling sad, stuck, or don't know what to do when they "grow up" contact me, I offer a free 30 min sample session. Or if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at anytime.
Parent tips of Adolescents:
Adolescents is a time when children develop their sense of identity. It is a major transition time - First from childhood to adolescents, then from teen to adulthood. It can be an emotionally charged and scary times for the children and their parents. That is why it is important that adolescents have a home life that is safe, stable, and predictable and supporting....Shepell FGI
Shelley Harris, CPCC
Certified Professional Coach
Personal Best Life Coaching Services
Renee Trudeau Associate & Facilitator
Brampton, Ontario
Bus: 905-452-9506
Cell: 647-283-5847
Email: sharris0569@rogers.com or
shelley@personalbestlifecoaching.net
http://www.personalbestlifecoaching.net/
http://www.noomii.com/users/shelley-harris
http://pblcservices.blogspot.com/
The path to your journey is one step at a time...
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