Setting Yourself Free

Recently I was involved in coaching a teenage girl who was in a relationship for about a year, the relationship ended and the life as she knew it stopped. This was her first relationship, and she truly loved this boy. Over the year I felt compelled to coach, guide, and nurture this young lady. I am going to speak as a mother for a moment, what really stood out to me is what happened to this young girl after the relationship ended. It was like she couldn't go on, she was stuck, physically, emotionally, she lost interest and could not focus.

She was in a place of sadness, she was feeling stuck with her emotions, and as a coach it is my job to have her work through the process. Is coaching always pretty no it's not, it's real, and it can be raw, and this particular session was raw. There are times where you have to work through what is holding you back, see what's there, you have to feel it, and be with it. When I am coaching my clients, I take them where they are, and sometimes they get mad, sometimes they wanna stop, and sometimes they cry it out, and that's okay. 

The homework I gave my client was to write a letter to her ex-boyfriend for closure, she didn't have to send it, but I felt it would help her move on. She decided to not only write the letter, but to send it. Once she sent it, she felt a weight lifted off her shoulders, she felt free, and she kept saying over and over again, I feel free. Because I have a daughter the same age, and as a mother I was so happy for this young girl. To see her carrying all that burden was hard, but she worked it out, and was proud of herself for the decision to send the letter. 

When coaching through a particular situation I will listen for emotions and name it, then I will explore what is there, and the client will experience it good bad, or indifferent. I will check in, to see where the client is, and what they are feeling, I will take the client where they want to go, and I will take the client where they may not want to go. In order for you to get passed certain things in life you have to process it to move on. You will fill the shift, and movement starts to happen. A client maybe feeling a certain way, but we will continue to process until movement happens.

Once my client allowed herself to feel the emotions, and be with it, she started to understand why this was so important. This was controlling her life for over a year, and stopping her from doing everything she was doing before the relationship. She still has her days, but I am confident over time she will be able to move on completely, she has come so far, and I cherish the relationship that we have. She is in a great place now, and we continue to check in with each other, I love being a source of support for her. 

I am writing as a Teen Coach, and as a mother, if you feel your children are struggling to focus, feeling sad, stuck, or don't know what to do when they "grow up" contact me, I offer a free 30 min sample session. Or if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at anytime. 

Parent tips of Adolescents: 

Adolescents  is a time when children develop their sense of identity. It is a major transition time - First from childhood to adolescents, then from teen to adulthood. It can be an emotionally charged and scary times for the children and their parents. That is why it is important that adolescents have a home life that is safe, stable, and predictable and supporting....Shepell FGI

Warmest Regards,

Shelley Harris, CPCC
Certified Professional Coach

Personal Best Life Coaching Services
Renee Trudeau Associate & Facilitator
Brampton, Ontario

Bus: 905-452-9506
Cell: 647-283-5847

Email: sharris0569@rogers.com or
shelley@personalbestlifecoaching.net

http://www.personalbestlifecoaching.net/
http://www.noomii.com/users/shelley-harris
http://pblcservices.blogspot.com/

The path to your journey is one step at a time...

Listening To My Heart

Good Day Everyone,

How often do you listen to your heart?

When I was India I really felt my heart sing, it was something that was so magical, and felt so real. I had a alot of time to think, and JUST BE. When people ask what being in the moment is, it may be the sounds of birds, a waterfall, horns beeping, animal sounds, or simply no sounds, just the stillness. It was an awesome experience, it really allowed me to listen to my heart, and search my soul. What I discovered is that I was put on this earth to help people face their challenges and rise above them, particularly in women and teens. Hence the name of my business...PERSONAL BEST LIFE COACHING, http://www.personalbestlifecoaching.net/.

Coaching women & teens is very close to my heart, I support and empower individuals going through life transitions, my coaching style is very similar to a personal trainer, if I know or sense you can do something, you will do it, I will work with you and make it happen. For me it is all about bringing out your very BEST by pushing your limits.

For personal reasons I am so passionate about coaching teens and women. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, emotional, physical neglect, and a parent addicted to prescription drugs. Now looking back at my childhood, I am thankful in a lot of ways, because it has made me who I am today. My parents divorced when I was 17, and I kind of got lost in the shuffle. Looking back on my life,  I knew I had to create the best life for my future family and break any cycles that I experienced. I feel I've done that! It has been a conscious effort each day, and when I look at my kids and husband's face, I know I've done right, and very proud for all that I have overcome.

My kids (17 yr old son, 15 yr old daughter, and a 4 yr old daughter) will often come home from school, sit down and tell me about their day. I love it, it is one of the best parts of my day. I stop what I am doing, sit down and really listen to them. We will discuss any topics brought to the "table" there is no judgment, just discussions, it's great. I speak to them like an adult, and respect them as an adult, and in turn they do the same. Sometimes I just sit there and smile, and my kids say Mom why are you smiling, and it is just because I've given them the best I can, and I am happy with that.

What I love about coaching, is that I get to be a part of my clients journey, I want to inspire them to dream big, and achieve bigger. Everyone has a story, what they do with their story will determine how their life plays out. My heart, my calling, and my soul all direct me to empowering the people around me to be their best. It doesn't matter where you came from, or who you are, what matters is what's in your heart, what do you stand for, and what is your legacy.

On my Facebook, I asked people what their legacy is, so it is only fair if I share what I want mine to be:  When people think of Shelley Harris, I want you to think of me as someone who persevered through all the trials and tribulations in life to get what I want, I want you think of me as someone who loved hard, and played fairly. To speak what I believe, and to hold the highest integrity. I want kids to know there are resources out there, and most of all NEVER GIVE UP! A quote I created, "To empower the possibilities is to inspire the dream".

My coaching business is where I want to be, I was born to coach baby, and that is what I am gonna do! 

If you are looking for a partner to walk this journey with you, you've come to the right place. 

Feel free to contact me, lets see if the shoe fits, it isn't always a "one size fits all" in coaching, we will need to speak, and get a sense if we can work together. Either way I am here when you are ready :D

Thanks for your time....

Peace, Love and Happiness xoxo

Shelley Harris...otherwise known as Mama Shell ;)

Love, Life and Ambition

Happy Holidays Everyone,

I opened my computer, went to my Blog and stared at a blank template, thinking about what to write. I like to write and keep in touch with everyone at least once a month. This month is different, Normally what I write just flows, but today, I am needing to pick my brain, and reflect a bit. Before I get to the next paragraph I will have come up with the context. I haven't put a title on this entry as yet when I figure out what I am going to write then I will title this entry.

What comes to my mind first is the sadness we are feeling with my Mother-in-law's (MIL) return trip back to Newfoundland where she lives. There are alot of people who may beg to differ with me, or may agree with me, you hear horror stories about people and their in-laws. I am blessed with my MIL, and my husbands uncle (he is like a father to him) they are such a wonderful people, with beautiful souls.

My parents weren't really in my life. I was forced to grow up early, and not really have a childhood. I appreciate my husbands family so much. I never knew what a true family was until I met my husband. It is unconditional love, and it's what I dreamt about my whole life. As I've wrote in previous entries, I just wanted to be part of a family, and now I truly feel it. Wishing distance didn't have to be between us all.

The holidays are upon us now, and it is time to reflect on what family means. When it comes to my immediate family, I cherish each and everyday I have with them, it is about changing the past and creating a new future and changing the cycle that once was. I look at my kids now and think how lucky I am to have such great kids. Sure there are typical day to day teenage stuff, but overall they have a good outlook on life. I feel the love from my kids and husband, and that to me is golden. Never let a day go by where you don't tell you spouse and kids you love them. 

What I appreciate the most, is the support from my family. The other day I came home and I received an email from the Ministry of Education with the request for an interview for a Support Analyst. I was so excited. I knew with the support from friends and family that I could do well. The best was hearing my kids say how proud they are of me, and a little grin to let me know how much they care.

The interview consisted of a presentation, written test, and an interview, so I normally have no issues, I feel comfortable in interviews, but for some reason I felt a little less confident on this one. I started thinking okay, I need to get a few things set up here so I can be successful at the interview. I asked for the support from friends and family, and asked for a couple days from my husband to step up where I can't so I can focus and prepare for the presentation/interview, with no questions asked he did (he is great that way). 

So the interview went well I do feel good about it, although I know there are several candidates, so now it's the waiting game. People who know me, know my passion, I've always wanted to be employed in the school system, and this would be a win win, I get to be in the environment of the schools, and I also get to coach/train which is right where I want to be. 

I reflect back to when I started this journey, and wondered where it will take me, I knew my dreams and goals were achievable. So I have been going through the motions for the past 3 + years and I can definitely say I am on the right track. I know I don't have the position yet, but the point is I had an interview and 3 years ago, it was just a dream, and now it might just happen...

Never stop dreaming...Never stop believing...Never stop Loving!!

I think I can title my blog now :D

Much Love to you all xoxo

Seasons Greetings,
Shelley

Be In The Moment...Be Present

Hi All,

Stop! Be In The Moment...Be Present

Day to day we get up, get the kids ready, drop them off at the sitter, go to work, come home, rush around, pick up the kids from school, prepare dinner, homework, bath time, check emails, taxi driver, extracurricular activities, chill time, etc etc etc... That pretty much is a typical day for alot of people, I know it is for me. In the daily list of things to do, no where does it mention take time out for you, or to slow down. If you have a typical day, are you taking time out for yourself? Often mothers and/or fathers will conduct their day to day business, on no sleep, not enough time, and not eating properly. It really seems as if we live our lives in a robotic state.

Looking at your conscious vs your unconscious mind...The conscious mind is the part of your mind that is responsible for logic and reasoning, so for example if I asked you what 

2 + 2 is, you are aware and conscious of what I am asking you, if you wanted to pick up your coffee, and have a sip, you are conscious of what your actions are. The unconscious mind is the part of your mind responsible for all of your involuntary actions. Have you ever drove to work, and upon your arrival said "I don't even remember the drive here" it was almost like your car drove in auto pilot, you were in a unconscious state of mind. 

Consciousness is important when you want to be in the now, it takes focus, awareness, and discipline to be in the moment. How much of your thoughts and emotional energy is spent on either the past or the future? Once you realize how much of your time and energy is involved in something other than the moment, and once you realize that what you think and feel is entirely up to you, you will have the key to being in the moment. Being in the moment is a state of awareness in which you do not think or feel anything, or about anything. Attention is focused on your presence, or being, and you are completely aware of your body, all sensations of your body, surroundings, emotional state, and mental state, all without any thought or emotions about it at all. 

When I read about the conscious vs your unconscious state of mind a couple of things come up for me, first, that I struggle to be in the moment with my kids sometimes, and I live my life in an unconscious state more then I would like to. Today I saw a program about a stay at home mom Andrea, who took her kids health and well being for granted, and just couldn't be present for her kids, she was almost angry being home. She decided to travel to another home, Stephanie a plane crash survivor and a mother of 5. With the severity of Stephanie's burns she was kept in a medically induced coma for 3 mths while she was healing, 80 percent of her body was burned. Once she was released from the hospital, they showed her day to day struggles, where she had to put on protective gloves to help heal her skin, constant surgeries, 5 small children to tend to, and constant pain. Although she has her struggles, she lives in the present moment with her family, she realizes how close she was to having her life cut short. It really opened Andrea's eyes and is now making a conscious effort to be in the moment with her children. Here are a couple of links to a very inspirational individual, she helped me realize that I need to also be more in the moment. 

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Blogger-Stephanie-Nielsons-Daily-Struggles-Video ~ http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/

What will you do to be in the moment?
What will you do to slow down?
What will you do to take time out for yourself?


Looking forward to your responses


Slow Down....Be Present


Much Love,
Shelley

"Time to Take Five"

Hi All,

What do you do to take time for yourself? I would love to hear some feedback on what you do for yourself, feel free to respond to this post.

Lately I have been feeling like it was time to "Take Five", as a Certified Life Coach, I encourage, support  and challenge my clients to take time for themselves. So, I decided to take some time and head to my friends Amit and Rita Yoga/Meditation retreat in Picton.  When I received an invitation to participate in the retreat at the Still Point Yoga B & B, I was excited but a little curious. I had a great time in India this past spring with Amit and Rita, so I was guessing it was going to be a great time again. Let me tell you, I was not disappointed, what a inspirational weekend.

For someone like me who is new to Yoga, I felt so comfortable with Rita's Yoga style, she was gentle and calming, she teaches with such grace and kindness. I feel there is no judgement, and her guidance makes you want to do more. I really enjoyed Hatha Yoga, and upon my arrival home I am now researching Yoga programs closer to my home. Yoga is not only movement, it is giving back, as a Certified Professional Life Coach I offered my services as a Karma Yoga, and I was happy people took me up on my offerings.

The weekend was packed with some great programs and exercises, Amit handle the ManaTeet Meditation, and Tattwa Shuddhi Kriya. Again being new to this way of life is very interesting to me. The places Amit takes you are so good for your mind, body and spirit, I gained so much insight with the meditation exercises he conducted. One exercise in particular was to just let go and make what ever sound you wanted soft, loud, and really loud. I couldn't understand why we were doing it, but I have to tell you it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Each day stress builds up, and as mothers we carry the weight on our shoulders, and it really just felt like a great release.

*ManaTeet Meditation(MT): Normally our mind stays in the past with regression or in future with deems, that is why we lose the joy of present. ManaTeet Meditation (MT) is a way to be in the present. The final achievement is the path to go beyond the mind (thought`s fluctuation). Def.: Mana (Sanskrit) thoughts, fluctuation of mind.    Def.: A-Teet (Sanskrit) beyond.

*Tattwa Shuddhi Kriya: An ancient traditional Yogic Practice (Kriya) to purify the 5-Elements and awaken your Chakras to balance your body, mind and soul.

I challenge you all to take time for yourself, be present, be inspired and be in the moment.

If you would like to participate in Rita/Yogi Amitram retreat or programs you can reach them at Rei of Light Yoga,  http://www.reioflight.net/

Until then...

Namaste
Shelley

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Home Is Where The Family Is...The Longing To Belong

Hi All,

It has been almost 2 months since I last wrote, and I have alot on my mind these days, so time to pick up my laptop and start writing!?

We recently returned home from our annual trip to Bonavista Newfoundland. For those who don't know, it is my husbands home town, he was born and raised in Newfoundland, and spent his childhood in Bonavista, he left when he was 19 years old. Bonavista is approx 300 kms east of St. John's, with a population of approx 4000 people. It is a beautiful, quaint town with the friendliest people I have ever met.

I look forward every year going to Bonavista, we normally start looking for flights around Christmas for the following summer with Air Canada, or West Jet. This year I booked our seats in May,  Kevin started a new job and was not sure if he was able to take time off, but thankfully he was.  We were super excited, as soon as he was approved for vacation, we booked. Normally we go last 2 weeks of July, or last week of July, first week of August. This year we decided to go a little later and took the last 2 weeks of August. I enjoyed going down at that time, we were there for Kevin's birthday, and came back on my birthday, so it was nice to be there and celebrate with such amazing family. The only thing going at that time, is we missed the caplan, whales, and iceberg's, but that is okay, I've seen them many times.

This was my 7th year going, and I still love it, just like it was the first time I went. Each year we go, it becomes harder to leave. They are the most loving, and giving people I have ever met. It could be the hugs, smiles, the little gifts they give, or just coming by to say hello, it all means more to me then anyone will ever know. One thing I can say when I go to Bonavista Newfoundland is the feeling of unconditional love. It doesn't matter who I am, where I came from, what I have, or what I don't have, I feel their love from the heart,  they would do anything for you!

I know we all have stories to tell, good, bad, and indifferent. Growing up in London, Ontario I was surrounded by friends, and family, but never felt like I really belonged anywhere. I mean I know my parents and brothers loved me, but I never felt like it was enough. My parents fought alot, and never really had time for us kids. My brothers and I kind of got lost along the way.

I knew once I had kids I was going to raise them different and break the cycle from the life I lived. Not hearing I Love You as a child, definitely plays on you as an adult. I have come to terms with the type of love my parents show me, and have accepted it. It is all about forgiveness as I get older, I start to realize my parents did the best they could with what they had. I've always lived my life for everyone but me, I recently in the last couple of years have done some major things for myself, for example getting my Coaching designation, and then this year going to India. It felt great to take take out time for me, and it really made me understand who I am, and what it is I am meant to do. For the past several months I've been feeling pulled. Emotionally, physically and spiritually, and I am trying to understand what my body is saying.

Then I think about my relationship with Ryan and Brianna, and the need for me to be here for them. I love my kids with all my heart, but struggle because my heart is back in Bonavista. If I move I try to ration by thinking Ryan will be in College/University next year, and Brianna will be done highschool in a couple of years, so I sit here trying to figure out what the right answer is. They have a wonderful father who I admire and would support whatever decision we made.

Kevin's Uncle Bert is like a father, and he is getting older (late 70's), and we both want him to have some good years with Kayla. It is so heart warming when you see him with Kayla, it was like she was his own. He is an incredible man, with the biggest heart, just like Kevin's mother, she is the best Mother-in-Law, and I am so blessed to have them both in my life. Of course I could go on about Kevin's extended family as well.

With all this thinking, I decided to apply for a for a couple of positions in Bonavista, and will let fate bring me to the answer.

Thanks for stopping by...Talk Soon

Much Love xoxo
Shelley