In Loving Memory ~ Dedicated to Kyle Miotto

Kyle Miotto - His family were coming back from vacation in PEI, and while driving home they were traveling through New Brunswick on July 28th, 2012 when the horrific accident happened, the family had sustained injuries, and Kyle was seriously injured. On Aug 6th, 2012 he succumb to his injuries, and past away with his family by his side. They feel blessed to have had the memories while being together on vacation. Kyle's last days were spent doing what he loved to do, spending time with family, fishing and having a ton of fun.

As I sat in Islington United Church in Toronto today, I was reflecting on life with my children. I drove Ryan and his friends to Kyle's funeral, Kyle was one Ryan's closest friends. I never knew him well, he had been to my place a couple of times, and I spoke to him briefly, Kyle spent more time at my son's Dad's house. When the boys walked in my home, I introduced myself to them, and and off they went downstairs to play video games. Shortly after, they would leave, and I said bye Kyle, it was nice to meet you, see you again. I never realized that I would never see him again. What struck out to me was his big smile, and his pleasant demeanor.

The church had so many people, there was not an empty seat, it was so full, we sat upstairs and watched from above. What stood out to me, was the love by so many people. As I looked around, I could see many tears shed, thinking what memories do they have of Kyle. I looked at my son, and I could see he was having a hard time, this was his first funeral. How sad, the first funeral he had to attend was one of his greatest friends. It was very difficult to look around and see all the sadness, but yet it was beautiful because you could just feel so much love. Listening to the stories of Kyle warmed my heart, I feel like I got to really know Kyle today, and to know he was a friend and a part of Ryan's life was a great feeling. These are the kids you want your kids to be friends with.

When Kyle's aunt read his eulogy, I was crying with sadness, but laughing at their humour, some stories were very funny, and I appreciated hearing the stories. The family is close, and it was apparent, the family members were handing kleenex's to each other, leaving one's seat to comfort someone in another seat, hugging another's child, there was so much love, and you could feel it. Looking around there was not a dry eye, including mine.

When a family member spoke on behalf of Kyle's mother, she described how her relationship was with her son, it sounded beautiful, she was his best friend, he was not like a typical teenager, he communicated with his mom, and they had a very open relationship. One of the stories they shared was, one day Lynda (his mother) went to the patio, and asked Kyle, are you writing a new song, and he said no I am writing 15 Commandments to live by. Kyle was an aspiring musician, who loved playing the guitar. He loved working with wood, and when he "grew up" he wanted to make guitars. Kyle recently graduated, he was becoming quite the successful young man.

When Kyle's father spoke, he talked about how much he   loved playing with soliders, and had a bucket of them. He said we are all soliders, but we have now lost our commander in chief. He also indicated that he will be caring around Kyle's Fifteen Commandments, I am hoping to get a copy too. 

Although I didn't know him well, I think to myself, what if that was my child. Having a child the same age, I started reflecting how precious life is, and I cannot imagine what it is like to lose a child. My heart goes out to anyone who loses their child. What I took away from today was to love each day like it is your last. You don't know what tomorrow will bring, each day you tell your kids you love them, and don't ever take life for granted.

 Once the service was over, we attended the reception in the Church hall, we mingle through the crowd and walked towards the collage of pictures to look at the life of Kyle. While we were over there, Ryan and I got very emotional, when Lynda (Kyle's Mom) notice how upset we were she came over to us and hugged us and thanked us for coming, and she said I know this is very hard. How incredible she came over to comfort us, when all I wanted to do was comfort her, that shows just how incredible she is. I turned to her and I said I am so sorry for your loss, he was a great friend to my son. 

Lynda's picture from Basin Head PEI

I'd like to close with the poem that was noted on Kyle's Funeral Card;

I'd like the memory of me
To be a happy one
I'd like to leave an afterglow
Of smiles when the day is done.

I’d like to leave an echo
Whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times, and laughing times
And bright sunny days.

I’d like the tears of those who grieve
To dry before the sun
Of happy memories that I leave
Behind ~ when the day is done.

Dedicated to Kyle Miotto - Oct.19th 1994 - Aug.6th 2012 - R.I.P

As my son Ryan said "This train is bound for glory"

Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven...Hug them each day and tell them you love them

Much Love  Shelley Harris & Family

Love Your Children

The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal - 12 Themed Workshops

Personal Renewal Group

In addition to Personal Best Life Coaching Services http://www.personalbestlifecoaching.net/ we facilitate Mom’s Groups  based on "The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal", we offer services individually, in groups or to organizations. Our service also provides personal coaching to Individuals and/or Families as well.

The group empowers, supports and inspires women and their families to define and create the lives they desire, experience greater life balance and enhance overall physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Often us Mom's get lost along the way, life gets ahead of us, and we lose who we once were. With the support from a Certified Life Balance Coach, and a group of like minded women we support and encourage each other throughout our journey. The groups are empowering workshops where it allows individuals to reconnect with who they are. This can be done in a 6 month workshop meeting bi-weekly, or a 12 month workshop meeting monthly.  

Each month there will be a new theme where we discuss, journal, and reflect. It is a fantastic community of like-minded people who set time aside to do something for themselves. Are you willing to give yourself one of the most important gifts of all...YOU? The greatest gift you could give yourself and your family is participating in something that is so important. "Self-Care is not about self-indulgence, it is about self-preservation" Audre Lord

The program is based on "The Mother's Guide to Self Renewal, How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life" by Nationally recognized Career and Life Balance Coach/Author Renee Trudeau.  Each member that joins will receive a copy.

The Cost is $225.00 for 6 month workshop meeting bi-weekly, or a 12 month, each workshop will be approx 2 hrs.

Groups will be held in Brampton, and if you can have 7+ Mom's join in the GTA, or South Western Ontario, I can come to you.

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Details about the Workshops

PERSONAL RENEWAL GROUP FOR MOTHERS

Date, Time and Location To Be Determined

Are you interested in reconnecting with “who you are” and living the life you truly desire?

Would you like to learn how to make your physical/mental/spiritual/emotional

self-care a priority and why it’s key to living, loving and parenting optimally?

Could you use support in gaining clarity and focus on how to allocate your energy and experience more balance in your life?

Supportive, nurturing and empowering, The Personal Renewal Group for Mothers is a successful 6-year old, Austin (Texas) based group coaching program for moms created specifically to explore and learn 1) how to "reconnect" with who you are, 2) strategies for making self-care/nurturance a priority so you can live, love and parent optimally and 3) how to experience greater life balance. The program is based on career/life balance coach Renee Trudeau’s new book The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life.

Topics for the 2012 Personal Renewal Group may include:

The Transformative Power of Self Care (on a physical, mental, spiritual and emotional level)

Reconnecting with Who You Are, Nurturing Your Essence

Good is Good Enough: A Mother’s Mantra

Motherhood as a Spiritual Journey

Unleashing Your Creativity and Reclaiming Adventure in Our Lives

Life Balance: Insights and Strategies for Balanced Living

Managing Our Energy, Saying “No” and Asking for Help

Feedback from 2011 Personal Renewal Group participants:

“I love the powerful, deep nature of this work, it has made a huge difference in my life.” Susan

“PRG helped me not beat myself up so much. My new mantra (since coming) is 'good is good enough!' "---Paula

"I can’t put into words how much I appreciate this work and how it has affected my thinking and ‘being’—as a woman and a parent.”--Amanda

"I was concerned about spending $ because our budget is really tight. Wow, am I glad I decided to do PRG. This has been a truly meaningful and life-changing experience for me. Kristan

"The open, safe environment for sharing was amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it. I felt comfortable to say anything. The women were amazing.”--Maria

"I loved being challenged to make my self-care a priority; PRG has made a huge difference in my life.” --Kristen

"The exercises on saying no (boundaries), setting intentions and managing our energy were profound—Janet

About the Facilitator:

My name is Shelley Harris, a Certified Life Balance Coach, mother of 3 (18 yr old son, 16 yr old daughter, and a 4 yr old daughter). I also have an individual Coaching practice ~ Personal Best Life Coaching Services, http://www.personalbestlifecoaching.net/. I am excited to be a part of Renee Trudeau & Associates and I look forward to leading & facilitating groups in Canada.

*As an RTA-Trained Facilitator, I have been personally coached by author Renee Trudeau to lead PRGs.

Registration is on a first-come, first-served basis.

Warmest Regards,

Shelley Harris, CPCC

Certified Professional Co-Active Coach & Mentor

The Empty Nest...

It's hard to believe it is August 1st, 2012, and summer is halfway through. I was telling my husband today, this has been the best summer I've had in years. I think with all the good things that are happening in my life, and the ability to follow my dreams has been a blessing and a gift. Since the last couple of months I've been in a really good place, ready to take on a new day everyday.

But....Tonight was different, after everyone went to bed, I found myself sad, emotional, and reflecting on my motherhood. If you've read my previous blogs, you know my relationship with my mother is not healthy. Since Ryan graduated from High School in June, I wanted to have a celebration for a couple of reasons. First to show him how proud we are for graduating, and secondly because he is going off to college. Our friends & Ryan were asking throughout the summer if I was going to celebrate.

For the first couple of weeks this summer, I struggled on what I should do, if I acknowledged him moving away then that makes it too real. To celebrate my son moving out just didn't sit well with me, I would tell myself it's for school, you have to let him spread his wings. I am a Certified Life Coach, I am all about people moving and growing, so why am I struggling with my son leaving. As it is now, he splits his time between my ex-husbands home and my home, so I am used to him not always being here. It's not like he is going across the country, he is only going less then a couple of hrs away.

All these thoughts ran through my head, who is going to feed him, what if he is hungry, what if he needs money, what if he needs a ride and so on and so on. I realize I've overcompensated raising my kids. I've done everything for them, in my mind I never wanted my kids to go through what I went through, so my thought is I will just do it for them. I know that wasn't right, and have made changes with my younger daughter. Whether Kayla is helping me unload the dishwasher, separate clothes for the laundry, swifer the floors, I make sure she helps. When she is a little older I will teach her how to cook, and be self sufficient. 

There are times in life, we are thrown into a job with no training, or a situation we are not comfortable with, but we always manage. We are stronger then we give ourselves credit for. So in a month from now my son will be off to college ready to start this new phase in his life. I keep saying to myself he is 18.5 yrs old, he is going to be fine, he is a young man. I keep having a positive answer for every negative question that comes in my head.

When I see his excitement to experience life on his own, I get goosebumps, I remember when I left home at 17, it changed my life. I was always beyond my years, but the life lessons I learned along the way will stay with me forever.

BTW...After sitting down with the calendar, and my son's busy schedule, the party is on hold...

He is growing up, moving on with his life, his priorities are changing, and I sit back and wonder will he have time for me? 
The answer is yes!


Thanks for reading a little piece of me....


Much Love,
Shelley